My Thoughts On “Me Too”

I resently stumbled across a blog where the writer was going off on how the “me too” movement was perpetuating the hate of men. How it was making all men look bad and being unfair to innocent, decent men.

I am truely sorry the writer of the blog sees the movement this way. I have survived abuse and have a child that has survived abuse. Neither of us hate men. In fact their are men in our lives that mean the world to us. We both jumped on board with the “me too” movement, with no hate towards men but no love for the “person” we were abused by either. This is what I saw my daughter post on social media and my response too it.

Maybe the writer of that blog will see this and realize that although there are always some that will use anything to perpetuate hate, the movement was not designed for that intent. That seeing blogs like that damage a movement that created a safe environment for thousands upon thousands of victims to tell someone…”me too”.

 

Me too.

This is a post from my daughter, the strongest, kindest and most beautiful person I know.

Me too.
TW: sexual abuse, self-harm
I think i need to write this somewhere everyone can read it because my biggest fear is people discovering my flaws and hating me for them. I kept my sexual abuse a secret for 15 years because I thought no one could love me if they knew how imperfect I am. When I developed anxiety and depression I hid away in my room and carved into my flesh with all the anger I had stored at myself for being so flawed. As a child, I thought no one would ever marry me because I was dirty and used. I thought God hated me because I let a man touch me before I was married. I am not perfect, but I’m also not my abuse and I refuse to spend another day feeling like I’m worth less than everyone else because of something someone else did.

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We need to change how victims feel about being abused. Strip away the shame from the innocent, make a society that embraces victims, loves them and helps protect them. Take the power away from the abusers and give it to the victims. Make it shameful for right person.

We need to hold our victims up high and praise them for surviving the failures of society. Stop blaming victims for being abused and stand up to the abusers. We need to stop making excuses and allowing abuse to continue because it is a difficult topic that no one wants to see. People are being abused, innocent children are being abused and we as a society are contributing by ignoring the problem, by making laws so lax that victims don’t bother to come forward, allowing abusers to continue abusing, creating more victims.

But what do I know….I am just a victim and the mother of a victim.

Happy New Year!

YAY! 2017 is behind me !

2017 was one heck of a year for me. I lost a lot of loved ones and even if you are expecting it, it doesn’t make it any easier. My mother decided to give us the scariest Halloween of my almost half a century of life and had a massive Stroke. I don’t think anyone could ever top that Halloween trick nor do I want them too! My relationship ended and if you think your relationship can handle everything, well think again. Life happens and sometimes it adds too much to a relationship and it breaks…sad but true.

Needless to say, I was extremely happy to ring in the new year and let the past year go. Not that there weren’t some fantastic moments in 2017. Z learned to walk! A learned to read! My oldest girl got MARRIED!

I am going into the new year new, putting all the negatives and hard times behind me. I am focusing on those who love me and letting go of those who don’t, listening to encouragement and blocking out those who hold me back with their negativity. There is nothing like negativity to hold you back, discourage you from moving forward or letting your dreams stay only dreams. 2018 is my year to move forward and make my dreams come true.

 

Hello world!

This greeting seems rather appropriate as I begin my journey blogging about parenting as an older, a much older parent. I always imagined that each of my children had this thought coming into the world. Each one with a different addition to what the world could expect. My first born would have been, “Hello world, I am here to help.” my fifth and final child would have been “Hello world, look out!”

Over the almost 3 decades of parenting, I have seen many changes. Car seats 3 decades ago were a light piece of plastic and no one really paid attention to safety or comfort, after all I think there were only 3 or 4 models back then. I would feel sorry for new parents today, except that I am one of them.

Uppababby, BOB, Peg Perego, Baby Jogger, Bugabboo, Quinny, Graco, Cosco…just to name a few ….so many strollers! With my first child I had the choice of a pram, a pink umbrella stroller or a blue umbrella stroller!!! Had I not worked for a store that specialized in baby gear, I would have surely spent hours searching the web with tears rolling down my face as I tried to decide which stroller to get my precious bundle of joy.

I think parenting today takes a lot more knowledge and a lot more strength in many areas than it did 3 decades ago. I am here to share my journey, experiences and knowledge as I start my journey over again from A2Z.