I resently stumbled across a blog where the writer was going off on how the “me too” movement was perpetuating the hate of men. How it was making all men look bad and being unfair to innocent, decent men.
I am truely sorry the writer of the blog sees the movement this way. I have survived abuse and have a child that has survived abuse. Neither of us hate men. In fact their are men in our lives that mean the world to us. We both jumped on board with the “me too” movement, with no hate towards men but no love for the “person” we were abused by either. This is what I saw my daughter post on social media and my response too it.
Maybe the writer of that blog will see this and realize that although there are always some that will use anything to perpetuate hate, the movement was not designed for that intent. That seeing blogs like that damage a movement that created a safe environment for thousands upon thousands of victims to tell someone…”me too”.
This is a post from my daughter, the strongest, kindest and most beautiful person I know.
TW: sexual abuse, self-harm
I think i need to write this somewhere everyone can read it because my biggest fear is people discovering my flaws and hating me for them. I kept my sexual abuse a secret for 15 years because I thought no one could love me if they knew how imperfect I am. When I developed anxiety and depression I hid away in my room and carved into my flesh with all the anger I had stored at myself for being so flawed. As a child, I thought no one would ever marry me because I was dirty and used. I thought God hated me because I let a man touch me before I was married. I am not perfect, but I’m also not my abuse and I refuse to spend another day feeling like I’m worth less than everyone else because of something someone else did.
We need to change how victims feel about being abused. Strip away the shame from the innocent, make a society that embraces victims, loves them and helps protect them. Take the power away from the abusers and give it to the victims. Make it shameful for right person.
We need to hold our victims up high and praise them for surviving the failures of society. Stop blaming victims for being abused and stand up to the abusers. We need to stop making excuses and allowing abuse to continue because it is a difficult topic that no one wants to see. People are being abused, innocent children are being abused and we as a society are contributing by ignoring the problem, by making laws so lax that victims don’t bother to come forward, allowing abusers to continue abusing, creating more victims.
But what do I know….I am just a victim and the mother of a victim.